The Differences Between Men and Women.

It is my belief that men fundamentally process critical issues differently from women.

​How males weigh-up an issue is often very different from how females measure value.

Whether we measure pupil dilation responses, infant resting and mobility rates, socialisation processes, internet search patterns, trauma, etc, men do things differently from women.

When a woman says to a man “I understand you”, it is my experience they say this with the best intentions, but have little idea of the significance of the issue to that man, and why it is significant.

​And on the flip-side, women (usually wives or partners) often complain that men ‘should know’ what a woman needs; how to love them, what actually counts as care for them, etc. All too often women carry assumptions, and men carry confusion while asking “what the hell just happened?” after things have blown up.

In an increasingly feminised world where tree climbing is ‘dangerous’, taking the piss out of a mate is ‘rude’, and ‘tolerance’ is how we are all supposed to get by ….well, let’s just say I take a different approach.

Talking straight is the beginning of the process to breaking the ‘stuckness’ that you may be feeling. So that is what we do - straight talking. After-all, covering up what’s really going on is not good for anyone. However, often the only way of finding out what’s going on is to talk about what’s going on!

Consider This.

• It is common for a man to be thinking something but not be sure how to say it

• When a woman asks a man what he is thinking and he says “Nothing” or “I’m not thinking about anything”, women usually get offended because they do not understand the value of this to us. This will become a problem if you stay in that space

• Feelings! What is the point of talking about them? Well, actually there’s lots of value in looking at them. And if you understand how your own feelings work you will gain insight into life

• Who am I… after my divorce… after my mate died… after I lost my business… after this injury meant I could no longer do what I used to… after getting that medical diagnosis? This is a question common to men who have lost control of their world

• Men shouldn’t get depressed right? Wrong, it happens all the time and sometimes you need someone to show you the ladder so you can get out of that hole.

We can't dialogue with the things we hide or protect from judgement. We have to bring them into the light of day and see if they are worth keeping or if they are sabotaging us.