Counselling for Males.
The Differences Between Men and Women
We believe that men fundamentally process critical issues differently from women.
How males weigh up an issue is often very different from how females measure value.
Whether we measure pupil dilation responses, infant resting and mobility rates, socialisation processes, internet search patterns, trauma, etc, men do things differently from women.
When a woman says to a man, “I understand you”, it is our experience that they say this with the best intentions, but have little idea of the significance of the issue to that man, and why it is significant.
And on the flip side, women (usually wives or partners) often complain that men should know’ what a woman needs; how to love them, what actually counts as care for them, etc. All too often, women carry assumptions, and men carry confusion while asking, “What the hell just happened?” after things have blown up.
In an increasingly feminised world where tree climbing is ‘dangerous’, taking the piss out of a mate is ‘rude’, and ‘tolerance’ is how we are all supposed to get by … well, let’s just say we take a different approach.
Talking straight is the beginning of the process to breaking the ‘stuckness’ that you may be feeling. So that is what we do - straight talking. After all, covering up what’s really going on is not good for anyone. However, often the only way of finding out what’s going on is to talk about what’s going on!
Consider This
It is common for a man to be thinking something but not be sure how to say it
When a woman asks a man what he is thinking and he says “Nothing” or “I’m not thinking about anything”, women usually get offended because they do not understand the value of this to us. This will become a problem if you stay in that space
Feelings! What is the point of talking about them? Well, actually there’s lots of value in looking at them. And if you understand how your own feelings work you will gain insight into life
Who am I… after my divorce… after my mate died… after I lost my business… after this injury meant I could no longer do what I used to… after getting that medical diagnosis? This is a question common to men who have lost control of their world
Men shouldn’t get depressed right? Wrong, it happens all the time and sometimes you need someone to show you the ladder so you can get out of that hole.
Surviving Sexual Abuse
Sexual abuse is something too many men carry in silence.
Whether it occurred in childhood, adolescence, or adulthood, and whether it happened once or over an extended period, the impact can be profound and long-lasting, affecting trust, identity, relationships, and a person's sense of safety in their own body.
Men who have experienced sexual abuse often face additional barriers to speaking about it. Stigma, misconceptions about masculinity, fears of not being believed, or confusion about their own responses to the abuse can all make it harder to come forward. Many men carry shame that isn't theirs to carry, or spend years minimising what happened to them because it doesn't match the story they've been told about what abuse "looks like" or who it happens to. Some men we work with have never spoken about their experience with anyone before walking into our office.
The effects of sexual abuse can show up in many different ways, such as difficulty trusting others, disconnection from one's body, challenges with intimacy, anxiety, depression, anger, or a persistent sense of being on guard. There's no single "right" way to be affected by abuse, and no timeline on when or how it's processed. Some men come to us soon after a memory or realisation surfaces; others come to us decades later, often prompted by a life change, a relationship, or simply reaching a point where they're ready.
At Resolve Counselling, we approach this work with patience, respect, and without judgment. We understand that seeking support around sexual abuse takes courage, and that for many men, simply making the appointment is a significant and difficult step. Our role is to walk alongside you at a pace that feels manageable, helping you process what happened, understand its impact on your life today, and begin to rebuild a sense of safety, trust, and connection, both with yourself and with others.
If this is something you're considering reaching out about, please know that you don't have to have all the words for it yet, and you don't have to face it alone.
We can't dialogue with the things we hide or protect from judgment. We have to bring them into the light of day and see if they are worth keeping or if they are sabotaging us.
p: 027 232 9192 (Rob)
p: 021 274 3600 (Bex)
